Wednesday, May 27, 2009

Mad-Libs for Talking Heads: How to Write for TV Pundits

Those (demeaning adjective) (pronoun) really piss me off.

Obviously not you - because you and I are in this together - but those (demeaning adjective) (nationality/political position). Because of their actions you and I are no longer (safe/secure/free/independent/prosperous).

You know those (demeaning adjective) (demeaning adjective) (nationality/political position) are (stealing/undermining/betraying) your (jobs/money/future/freedom).

You and I both know (demeaning adjective) (nationality/political position) are the ones that are ruining this country. You know who I'm talking about! But of course most Americans are (afraid to deal with/angry about/disgusted with) this issue because they think (the man/liberals/conservatives/fundamentalists/terrorists) will punish them.

But I'm not afraid to speak for up for you. Of course, the (conservatives/liberals) will try to shut me up. But as long as I can speak I'm willing to give your issues the attention it deserves. I speak because I (care/fear/reject) this (negative adjective) issue. More than anyone else - except you.

(demeaning adjective) (nationality/political position) are constantly threatening to (expand/infringe) on (your/their) (political/social/religious) agenda. The result is they (expand/infringe) on your (God/Constitutional/financial/political/birth) given (rights/privacy/grace/money/dreams/religion/opinions).

The truth is, whether you know it or not, you're (rights/beliefs/politics/desires) are being (violated/ignored/threatened/rejected/disrespected). Those (demeaning adjective) (nationality/political position) are getting away with (lying/cheating/stealing/sinning/invading/undermining) against the American way of life.

You'd see more about it in the news but the news is controlled by (conservatives/liberals). They are constantly taking the side of those people. They have no idea! They are ruining this country I tell you! Ruining it! Which is why I'm here talking to you. You and I have to stop them.

Of course as you and I both know - They are everywhere. They talk about rights but ignore their responsibilities to (our/their) (country/church/family/community/planet/friends/God/god/Goddess/__________). As long as they don't have to make a sacrifice those people are willing to tell their neighbors how (to/not to) live.

You and I have got to do something about it! We've got to stand up to those (demeaning adjective) (nationality/political position) and say, "Enough is enough!"

I say to hell with them. Seriously, to hell with those people!

You and I both know how they should live because this (Bible/Guru/Constitution/Koran/Philosophy/Ideal/Theory/or choose your favorite dogma) tells them how they should live. If those people would only listen to us they would be better (people/Americans/citizens/patriots/parents/wives/husbands/teachers/leaders/judges/______). They have a right to be happy, joyous and free as long as they don't do anything that you and I know is (sinful/immoral/unethical/treasonous/______).

If you listen to me and avoid any other perspectives than we can solve this problem that has been plaguing our great (nation/church/economy) since President (Obama/W/Clinton/Bush, Sr./Reagan/Carter/or choose your Presidency).

The solution is simple: (more/less) (laws/military/education/police/soldiers/money/teachers/personal responsibility/guns/drugs/immigrants/integration/desegregation/abstinence programs).

If they won't do what we think they should do then they are not real (Americans/humans/patriots/_________) like us. (Traitors/communists/hypocrites/fascists/socialists/terrorists/liberals/conservatives) they are. Ruining this country I love. Ruining this country you love!




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Thanks for sharing. As if anyone cares.